one good reason to cry

today is my first day with rehab team... everything was smooth-sailing (dr ignore my presence but that was normal though). then we went to the peads clinic... a 1 year old boy with spina bifida... he was trying to make friend with us by tapping his hang on the table and making hug impression... what an abnormally hyperactive, energetic boy... that was my impression until on examination, the boy had scar like eczema on his groin area... dr said it may be due to sharp and unsuitable diapers... the boy respond to dr's touch and ooh he can extend his knee against gravity... an improvement since he could not even flexed his hip before... he can sit up by himself for a few minutes but tends to drop his body towards his limbs... i could see his spina bifida cystica underneath his diapers... probably at t3... that when the pediatrician ask the women (i thought she was his mom but later dr clarified that she was an attendant at an orphanage) why the kid did not follow his management and follow up... huh? such a sweet little boy and nobody at tunku budriah cares? i know that tunku budriah is a center for normal orphan but at least give him his much needed medication... at closer inspection to his feet i notice that he got club-foot... it is because he never get his splint to correct the deformity... i could not imagine how the child would have felt in his situation... he may be cheerful but why must this happen... all thought come into my head... can i adopt him... i feel sense of remorse that i could not take care of him properly until he could depends on himself... i go back to my room and and give myself a good cry and thank god for my mom and dad who has been tirelessly taking care of me... i hope that he had a great life and god's plan to him and maybe i will visit him sometimes... this is for my new 'adik'...